3 signs it's time to ditch your casual sex partner
Casual sex is supposed to be fun — so what happens when it’s not?
While not everyone enjoys one-night stands or no-strings-attached s-e-x, research shows that those who do find bliss in booty calls experience lower stress and boosts in self-esteem. For some, it offers novelty and freedom that makes intimacy exciting. So what happens when the partner you're supposed to be having fun with starts making you feel anxious or embarrassed?
According to Bloomi’s residential intimacy expert Dr. Viviana Coles, a relationship and sex expert and licensed psychotherapist, if your hookups aren’t making you feel good inside or outside of the bedroom, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. Ahead, she shares red flags that it may be time to ditch your casual sex partner (and replace them with someone new).
Red Flag No. 1: Your partner never shows interest in learning what works or doesn't work for you in bed.
Good, healthful exhilarating sex requires communication. Whether it’s with your romantic partner of 10 years or that person you met at the bar and started hooking up with a week ago, you have to communicate with your partner what you like (and don’t like) in order to have your sexual needs (yes, needs) met. If your partner doesn’t ask you what you’re into, check in with you during sex or seem to listen to you when you share your Yes, No, Maybe list, then that’s a good sign that they aren’t invested in your pleasure.
Red Flag No. 2: Your partner shows disdain for your Bloomi essentials or mocks you for using them.
For people of all genders and sexual anatomies, sex toys and sex products can enhance pleasure by helping partners get in the mood, lessen discomfort, and reach areas or introduce new sensations that are otherwise missed. If your partner comes over and laughs at your sex drawer or mocks you for wanting to enjoy sex toys or pleasure oils together, then they may be letting their insecurities or toxic and antiquated ideas about sexuality get in the way of your sexual satisfaction — and that’s a good sign to dip.
Red Flag No. 3: Your partner seems annoyed if you give any feedback during or after an intimate experience.
Again, communication is essential to any relationship, including the one you have with your booty call. If you identify any of these (or other) red flags, it could be helpful to talk about them. Perhaps your partner is nervous or misread your cues, and is prepared to get it right after some feedback. Or maybe they will get annoyed after you broach the conversation. The truth: You won’t know until you communicate with them. If they don’t care to hear what you have to say and/or refuse to consider your feedback during your next hookup, it’s time for them to be replaced. In the words of Dr. Viviana, "If they can't handle you sharing your concerns outside of the bedroom, they may not deserve an invitation back in.”