Myths about sex after 40, debunked
There are a lot of misconceptions about sex after 40.
Some people believe their sex drive will drop or that intercourse will become painful. Others think their aging bodies will be less desirable to their partner(s) or prospective lovers. But if you actually ask people in this age group (or older), they’ll share some surprising anecdotes that debunk many of the myths we were taught through the media.
To help demystify sex after 40, we’re busting some of the most common myths. Get excited — there is sexual pleasure in our futures, and we can have as much (or as little) of it as we want.
Myth: You don’t have sex after 40.
Fact: According to a study published in JAMA Internal Medicine, 85% of people with vaginas have sex above the age of 40. Most of them agree that sex is still really important to them.
Myth: Sex hurts after 40.
Fact: During perimenopause and menopause, the body goes through some changes. Among them is vaginal dryness. When the vagina is less moisturized or elastic, it can cause discomfort during sex. However, vaginal dryness can be treated easily with water-based lubricants, like Bloomi's Smooth, as well as pleasure oils, like Desire, that naturally enhance the body's lubrication and make touch more pleasurable. That said, sex after 40, even for those experiencing perimenopause or menopause, doesn’t have to hurt.
Myth: Sex is less fun after 40.
Fact: A dull sex life after 40 has less to do with the body and more to do with the relationship. Oftentimes, if a couple has been together for several years, it's easy to get bored. This is true regardless of your age. However, it's also possible to put the sexual spark back into the relationship, especially through open communication, exploring fantasies, and learning about new sex positions and experiences through books, videos or sex counseling. Also: Many people say that sex after 40 is more enjoyable because they don’t have to deal with the same pressure or fear of pregnancy or parenting.
Myth: You don’t have to worry about getting pregnant after 40.
Fact: There are many people in their 40s who have and will get pregnant, intentionally and not-so-intentionally. Even those who are in the middle of perimenopause can get pregnant. You aren't in the clear until menopause is officially over, when you've gone a full year without a period. To avoid pregnancy, be sure to use a birth control method that’s right for you.
Myth: Sexual confidence decreases after 40.
Fact: It’s true that our bodies begin to change after 40, and sometimes those changes can create new insecurities about how we look and how our partner(s) may perceive us. However, studies show that sexual confidence actually increases post-40. At this age, many people have a better sense of their sexual self and aren't afraid to ask for what they want. Moreover, they are often more open to exploring new things in bed (or outside of it) because of this sexual confidence.
Myth: You missed your sexual peak.
Fact: There's this idea that you reach your sexual zenith in your 20s (anyone who has had sex after their 20s knows this isn’t true), but there’s no such thing as a sexual peak. In fact, a survey by Happify found that both people with vaginas and penises said sex continued to improve well into their 40s.