How to give your partner an intimate massage
An intimate massage or an erotic massage is a wonderful experience that can be a great date night idea when you don't want to leave home but still want to do something special with your partner.
As appealing as that sounds, attempting to give a massage without any bodywork training can be intimidating. But it doesn't have to be. Below are massage benefits and a guide on how to give your partner an unforgettable intimate massage.
Intimate massage benefits
Good for physical and mental health
Massage therapy wakes up your muscles, improves the circulation of blood and lymph fluid, and drains harmful toxins. Even more, it's been reported to reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.
Helps improve body image
A massage can have a positive impact on people who struggle with negative body image. Someone touching their body with all of its imperfections (always consensually, of course) helps people accept their shape and feel more comfortable in their body with time.
Deepens intimacy and connection
Beyond physical and mental health, bodywork can also boost intimacy in your relationships.
According to Geraldine Abergas, a New York-based massage therapist, bodyworker, and neurofeedback practitioner, touch can deepen our physical, energetic, and emotional relationships with others. Whether kneading out knots or simply holding hands, she views touch as a playful way to connect and communicate.
"Our hands are filled with so many nerve endings. The parts of our bodies that have the highest number of nerve endings are our hands, feet, our lips, our ears, and our genital organs. That is where we receive the primary amount of information through touch. So when it comes to partnerships, relationships, or just being with another, utilizing touch through hands can help you share energy and warmth and create magnetism. It's a deep connection that conveys so much," Abergas explains.
Strengthens relationships
Trying new things together with your partner has shown to be an effective way to strengthen the bond and cultivate a happy, long-lasting relationship. An intimate massage can be something new to add to your sexual experience list that you explore with your partner.
What you need for an intimate massage
By setting the mood, using a good massage oil, and following a few key techniques, you can give your partner a magical rubdown and connect deeply and sensually. Here are a few pro tips on how to give a full-body massage that will ease tension and enhance intimacy.
Before you get started with the intimate massage, make sure you have all the tools you might need on hand to give your partner the best experience possible:
A massage oil or massage oil candle
Scented candles
Towels
Curated playlist with sensual music
Your favorite sex toys
Best massage oils
Choose a massage oil that's suitable for use on intimate skin. While you'll be focusing on your partner's whole body, for the most part, being able to massage their intimate parts without worrying about irritating the skin will make the experience more relaxing for them and for you.
Bloomi's Luxe Massage Oil is a clean, oil-based formula made with organic, full-spectrum hemp extract that provides a luxurious slip and a relaxing aroma during body massages. The CBD extract in the formula helps increase blood stimulation, which enhances the sensations.
This is particularly great for intimate skin areas, where the skin is already sensitive to the touch. And you only need 5 to 10 pumps of massage oil to cover desired massage areas.
While massage oil is the key component of intimate massage that makes things go smoothly, it can also be fun to consider a few additional tools that will make your partner feel even better during their massage.
Massage oil candles
Massage oil candles can elevate your play time and make a simple massage much more fun. While massage oil candles are made out of low-temperature wax that doesn't burn the skin, the ritual of pouring melted warm oil out of a candle on your partner's body can be very sensual and sexy.
LELO's Flickering Touch Massage Candle is a luxurious all-natural soy wax and shea butter massage oil candle that is available in three different aromas to cater to everyone's taste: Vanilla & Creme de Coco, Black Pepper & Pomegranate and Snow Pear & Cedarwood.
Prostate massagers
A good prostate massager can take your intimate massage from good to great in an instant. And the best part is that it can be used for internal and external massage.
Bloomi's Indulge is a double-sided vibrator that is designed for both G-spot and P-spot stimulation. Its curved shape makes it easy to target the pleasure spots with ease, and you have an option of vibrating or non-vibrating stimulation.
Clit massagers
Of course, clit massagers like Bloomi's Massage Clitoral and Body Vibrator or Play Mini are great tools to have on hand during an intimate massage. They both are designed to fit in the palm of your hand and are made of smooth and soft silicone that glides over the skin with ease.
You can easily massage your partner's intimate parts and their secondary erogenous zones like nipples, neck, inner thighs, lower abdominal, and more.
Relax Body and Massage Oil
A clean massage oil that doubles as an everyday body oil with lavender aromatherapy.
How to prepare for a massage
Ground yourself
In order to give a soothing massage, Abergas says it's important that you are personally relaxed. Because touch conveys so much, your partner will likely know if you're stressed or disinterested, which won't help create the calming or seductive experience you both are looking for.
To get grounded, Abergas suggests knowing your intentions, removing any distractions, paying attention to your posture, and taking a few deep breaths. "When you're centered, you can just focus on the experience. It might even feel like there's no separation between the two of you. You breathe in unison, and maybe you close your eyes while giving the massage so you are more present," she says.
Set the mood for the massage
While a massage primarily focuses on touch to create a truly calming or alluring experience, it's important to delight other senses as well. Abergas encourages creating a comfortable base on the floor, where it'll be easier for you to move around than on a bed, and using light, sounds, and scents to take the rubdown to the next level.
Dim the lighting in the room by burning a candle or covering a lamp with a scarf. Cancel out outdoor noise with soft water sounds, piano music, or a playlist you curated that enkindles the mood you aim to set. Finally, and arguably the most important, light a scented candle that your partner will enjoy. The scent is the most powerful and direct human sense, so you want to ensure there are no smells in the room that will repulse them.
Have your tools at hand
Before you start massaging your partner, make sure you have all the tools you'll need on hand. Place them somewhere close to where you'll be massaging your partner, whether it's a bed, a table, or a sofa. It will ensure no interruptions during your sensual time together.
Intimate massage basics
After you've prepared yourself and set the mood, all you need is your partner and some massage oil or serum. Bloomi's Luxe Massage Oil is formulated with organic, full-spectrum hemp extract to help relax the body and soothe sore muscles. Even more, its custom blend of plant-based aphrodisiacs will arouse both your and your partner's senses.
With a couple of pumps of oil in your hands (less is better; you can always add more), it's time to put them to work. According to Abergas, the best place to start a massage is on the person's back and shoulders. "Most people have tension in these areas, so working there will help them to relax, which helps you become less nervous and more comfortable," she says. Having your partner lie down on their stomach also avoids any awkward eye contact that might make you embarrassed.
Move through the body
Whether you're giving a slow, relaxing rubdown or an invigorating, faster-paced massage, your flow through the body should be seamless. Instead of going from the shoulders to the feet, Abergas suggests working your way through the entire body before turning them around.
When reaching sensitive areas, like the glutes, it's important not to surprise your partner with a choppy transition. She recommends moving from the waist to the hips and then pushing into the glutes or creating long strokes up and down the waist, glutes, and thighs.
Areas to avoid
As you're moving through the body, it's critical to avoid areas that might cause your partner pain. Avoid boney areas and stay away from the spine, shins, knees, or other parts where the bone is more prominent than fat or tissue. If your partner is hairier on certain parts of their body, like their chest or legs, Abergas advises using more oil to help avoid friction or painful hair pulling.
If your partner is a survivor of sexual or physical violence, avoid the areas that might trigger painful memories or emotions. If they are working through these traumas and have given you consent to touch these parts of their body, start by using their hands to massage those areas, and when they're ready, they'll allow you to use yours instead.
Read your partner's response
Hoping to spare your feelings, your partner might not immediately tell you what hurts. As such, it's important to ask questions like, "is this OK here," "do you want more or less pressure" or "how does this feel?" Even more, Abergas suggests keeping an eye on your partner to read their response and gauge what they like and don't like.
When and how to stop
Knowing when to end your massage session is important. You don't want to stop abruptly, but you also want to avoid overextending yourself or going on so long that you lose the energy you aimed to create. As a newcomer to bodywork, your massage should last between 10 to 20 minutes, Abergas advises. Since you started the rubdown with your partner lying on their stomach, you'll end with them on their back.
After working yourself up the body, Abergas says it's nice to finish by massaging their head, scalp, and ears. "Being that these are areas with high nerve endings, it's a great place to end. Here, you're face to face and really intimate," she adds. This close to one another, it's also the perfect moment to transition into sexier activities.
Optional: happy ending
After you've shown your partner's body love, you have the option to finish off the experience with a happy ending. While it's by no means necessary to end your intimate massage with sex, if you and your partner feel like it, then have some fun.
Use your hands, mouth, and sex toys you have to bring your partner pleasure. Consider edging (bringing your partner close to an orgasm and then stopping the stimulation and repeating it multiple times) your partner to further intensify their pleasure.