Self-pleasure is sex: The best ways to masturbate solo
We’ll say it again for the people in the back: having a self-pleasure routine is a practice of self-love and care. There is a lot of stigma toward the proper term — masturbation — but when it comes down to it, it is simply a natural, safe, healthy, and normal way to explore your body.
According to a recent study, 84 percent of Americans report that they’ve masturbated in their life. Plus, it was found that regular masturbators were more confident in their sex lives, and more satisfied with their own personal pleasure overall — like people with vulvas, which 56 percent of say that solo playtime with or without sex toys has led to better orgasms over time.
But what if it doesn’t feel as easy to you? If you’re stuck in feelings of shame, and embarrassment or just don’t see the benefits of masturbation, we’ve got you. With the help of Cassie Willnauer, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, we’re breaking down the term (and stigma) so you can explore your sexual needs, and feel safe doing so, below.
What is masturbation?
Masturbation, or solo sex, is the act of stimulating one's genitals with hands or toys for sexual pleasure. Simply put, by Willnauer, it is the practice of touching your own body in any way that brings you sexual pleasure.
What are the health benefits of masturbation?
Masturbation isn’t just for pleasure, but health benefits, too.
“Masturbation produces hormones which contribute to a reduction in stress, anxiety, and depression,” Willnauer tells Bloomi, “These hormones can be produced other ways, but masturbation is a fun and pleasurable and easily accessible for most folks!”
People who masturbate tend to be more successful in achieving their own pleasure, more reflective on the sexual aspects of their lives, and even more expressive in intimate relations. Plus, they tend to be more resistant to gendered double standards in sexuality. But that’s not the only benefits, too.
1. Masturbation helps you understand what your body likes and doesn't
Looking to explore your body? This is your time to try new things on your own. You'll find that after several solo sessions, you're going to feel more comfortable not only asking for what you want during partnered sex, but be able to get yourself close to the edge every time.
Plus, we find that scheduling time for masturbation can be a fun way to take yourself on a solo date night. Try playing soft music, light a candle, and rub Bloomi's Luxe Massage Oil on your skin and revel in soft, long-lasting playtime.
2. It strengthens bladder control
Did you know masturbation is a great workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When your body experiences orgasms regularly, these muscles contract and strengthen over time. Having a stronger pelvic floor also leads to stronger orgasms and an increased ability to have multiple back-to-back orgasms, too.
3. Masturbation builds self-confidence
Sex is here to help us feel good, especially solo sex. After a moment of solo play, you might notice an increase in your mood and even self-confidence.
4. Masturbation supports the immune system
Sex of all kinds, including masturbation, contributes to building up your immune system. Increased blood flow is beneficial for overall wellness; in fact, arousal and orgasms can help the body produce antibodies that protect against and fight bacteria and viruses.
5. Masturbation boosts libido
If stress is impacting your libido, one of the first steps you can take is touching yourself. It's one of the easiest ways to get turned on. If you’re feeling really inspired, try using Bloomi’s Indulge Double-Sided Vibrator. We also recommend using an arousal oil during masturbation, which can further boost stimulation, help folks who struggle with vaginal dryness and intensify orgasms.
6. Masturbation eases body aches and pain
Practicing your masturbation routine can also help relieve pain like menstrual cramps or headaches. When you have an orgasm, your muscles contract, and you release a cocktail of hormones, including endorphins, all of which are your body's natural pain-killing mechanisms.
7. Masturbation induces relaxation and more restful sleep
Last, but not least, masturbation can help you relax and fall asleep. When you orgasm, your body will release oxytocin and vasopressin, which counteract any stress hormones you have stored up, so you can drift off into a nice and restful sleep.
The best ways to masturbate solo
“The best ways to masturbate are the ones that feel good to you,” Willnauer explains, “I hate the idea that anyone is hiding away in their bathroom masturbating over their toilet as quickly as possible. Allow yourself time and space to enjoy the process of masturbation. Romance yourself. Light a candle, take a bath, wear lingerie and experiment with a variety of different types of stimulation to see what works, what’s fun, and what feels the best!”
Depending on what type of masturbation you prefer, we think using a toy like Bloomi’s Massage and Play Mini could be great for beginners.
If you want a sex toy that stimulates the sensation of oral sex, then Lora DiCarlo's Baci is a great toy to consider. It mimics the laps and strokes of the tongue and has ten different levels of clitoral stimulation to help you reach an intense orgasm. For internal stimulation, though, we love Bloomi's Indulge — a G-spot massager that has a curved shape designed for the precise stimulation of internal pleasure spots — that will feel amazing.
As always, though, make sure you’re using a good lubricant — like a water-based lube like Bloomi's Smooth or an oil-based lube like Bloomi's Delight — so you’re feeling extra good no matter how you’re choosing to play.
Is it bad to masturbate every day?
There is nothing wrong with masturbating every day!
“There is no prescribed limit to the amount of time or frequency with which you can or should be masturbating. The main question to consider is whether masturbation is infringing on your other obligations and desired activities,” she says.
If you’re enjoying the act and still meeting your obligations and engaging in other activities that bring you joy, then we say go for it! And remember: masturbating is totally normal and a healthy part of our sexual wellness journeys.
