What Is a Kink? 4 Common Ones You Can Have (And How To Know If You Do)

In today’s modern age, it’s common to hear folks describe their sexual sides in different ways — think vanilla, open-minded, and of course, kinky. But for some of us beginners, it can feel like a large leap into the unknown to describe ourselves as kinky (especially if we don’t yet know what we like or if we even have a kink, in general.)  Luckily, we’ve got the internet’s help for that.

While there is still room for more research on kink, one recent scientific study found something quite interesting: Curiosity around kink in the U.S. is quite high — at approximately 45 to 60 percent of the population expressing wonder around kink  — and most have at least thought about exploring what their kink is, over time. 

More often than not, if you’re wondering if you have a kink, you just might. But if you find yourself still at a loss, Bloomi is here to help. With the expertise of Amanda (also known as The Kink Consultant), we’re here to break down what kink is, why it matters, and how to know if you have one, below.

And don’t worry — this is a judgment-free, open-minded zone. Your kink (and self-pleasure) is safe with us.

What is the definition of a kink?

“I define kink as finding enjoyment in non-traditional acts of intimacy,” The Kink Consultant explains.

Although the official Webster dictionary defines kink as an “unconventional sexual taste or behavior,” The Kink Consultant adds that she purposefully avoids the word sex when talking about kink. That’s because, for so many kink practitioners, sex isn’t involved in at all. In her mind, kink can more accurately thought of as an act of its own. 

However, kink can be sexual, too. It all varies from person to person (imagine that!)

4 different kinks folks can have 

There are so many different types of kink out there. Like The Kink Consultant explained, they’re not all sexual, but some can be, too. 

Let it be known: this isn’t a comprehensive list of all the kinks out there. In fact, these are just a few that might be more commonly-known and are often good intros into the kink world, below.

1. Power exchange

“A person can have kinks that incorporate power exchange such as consensual non-consent or even orgasm control,” she explains. Power exchange is just as it sounds — you’re exchanging or giving power, from dominants to submissives, through acts of kinky scenes or play. 

2. Bondage

Another commonly known kink? Bondange  — the B in BDSM — which can be things like Shibari, using handcuffs, chastity belts or even taping to restrain someone else or yourself.

3. Humiliation kinks

What about humiliation? Yes, that’s a kink, too. The idea with this one is that a person (regardless of gender) enjoys the feeling or act of being humiliated by another person. What the kink activity is, though, varies.

“Humiliation is a little more person-specific, because some people consider forced feminization a humiliation kink, while others prefer something a little more physical like having to crawl on all fours or eat off the floor.” 

4. Impact play

Impact play is probably one of the most common knowledge kinks. Think flogging or spanking — with a leather flogger, paddle or even a cane — that is used by a dominant on a submissive in a kink scene. Sometimes, it involves bruising, or at the most intense level, drawing blood to the skin.

“The list of kinks and how people interpret those kinks is varied,” The Kink Consultant reminds us, “Almost every kink has its own spectrum of intensity, including impact play!”

Again, this kink doesn’t always involve sex, but sometimes it can. It all truly depends on the persons involved.

How do you know if you have a kink, yourself? 

According to Amanda, the way people discover their own kinks can range from innately knowing them from a young age to discovering a kink based on new, exciting experiences. 

“Whether it's something that piques their interest in a book or movie, or having a partner introduce them to something that uncovers a kink,” she tells Bloomi.

If you want to know if you have a kink, her advice is simple: the best way to explore kinks, if you’re thinking about them, is to dip your toe into what piques your interest. Shibari (or rope play) try buying some rope and tying knots on yourself.

Slowly, but steadily trying new things, can help you to know whether or not you have a kink or if it isn't for you. 

Resources for folks new to kink

What about other resources for kink, though? If you don’t to go at it alone, there are so many wonderful resources out there to help you feel empowered, kinky and sexually free.

“The top three places I send people looking for resources in kink are certified professionals like myself, a certified Somatica®️ Sex and Relationship Coach who specializes in kink,” she explains. 

But she also recommends reading established books, “Basically anything Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy, or even scouring Reddit for real-life examples of things people have tried.”

When it comes to kink, Amanda reminds us that everyone's advice or input should be taken with caution and with a common sense approach. After all, kink means different things to everyone, so think about what makes you feel most safe, comfortable and at ease.