My Libido Disappeared. Here’s How Sex Toys Helped Me Get It Back
A topic often shrouded in silence and stigma: a diminished libido. For many women, including myself, experiencing the loss of sexual desire can feel isolating and frustrating. A once-thriving sex life can dwindle, leaving behind feelings, questions and insecurities.
Luckily, though, there is so much education out there that can help get you back to where you want to be. My journey, and many others who are struggling with a low libido, have found help in a surprising solution: sex toys.
Yes, that’s right. Sex toys. Using them, I navigated the emotional (and sometimes frustrating) journey of my own low libido several years ago, managed to find my pleasure and initiate sex with bad b*tch energy again — all thanks to the sexual wellness industry.
The Struggle with Low Libido
Everyone has libido fluctuation from time to time. It’s just a part of life — with work stress, relationship changes, and the general wear and tear of daily responsibilities — and mine was no different. A few years ago, when.I started my Masters program, and was working a full-time role while navigating a global pandemic, I realized that my urge for sex had faded and I wasn’t interested in orgasm.
And when I wanted to want sex, I often found myself feeling anxious and frustrated, questioning whether something was wrong with me or not. This was, of course, before I became a sex educator and writer myself.
Now, I know where lack of desire can come from, how it can affect my relationship and that there is nothing shameful about hvaing a low libido. But back then, I wasn’t as sure. So I turned to the internet (naturally) for answers. What I found was other women, and folks of all genders, who encouraged finding what brings your true pleasure — even in ways I may never have, before.
How you, too, can seek solutions
Of course, not all the internet suggestions worked for me. But it was great to find a community that could understand what I was feeling. Then, I found a TikTok review about a clitoral suction toy and it sparked my interest in trying one out for myself.
According to one study, using vibrators can create different types of sexual stimulation, which can be beneficial when there is decreased sexual sensation or low libido.
Would introducing toys into my intimate life complicate things further? Would it signal that I couldn’t connect with my partner without assistance? Of course, these fears were valid, but ultimately, unfounded. I knew that wanting to explore sex toys was a means of empowerment, self exploration and maybe (just maybe) pleasure.
And I’d highly recommend it for you, too!
Embracing sex toys
If you’re experiencing a low libido, and need a new approach, I can’t recommend trying out Bloomi’s high-quality, body-safe sex toys, like these.
1. Clitoral Stimulators
One of my first purchases was a clitoral stimulator. Bloomi has a lot of those, but my personal favorite is their Massage Clitoral Vibrator ($45.) Designed specifically for external pleasure, this one can be incredibly effective in heightening arousal. Using it alone, I’ve discovered new erogenous zones and sensations that I didn’t know I had, and made me feel more connected to my desires.
2. Vibrating Couples’ Toys
If you have low libido, it might be helpful to introduce a vibrating couple’s toy. Bloomi’s Indulge Double-Sided Vibrator ($60) is one that can be used to spark adventure in the bedroom — whether you’re with a man, a woman or non-binary folks. The double-sided nature makes room for play, exploration and lots of pleasure.
3. Massagers and Prostate Toys
For those interested exploring different kinds of pleasure, massagers and prostate toys can be transformative. Bloomi’s Caress Full-Body Massager ($65) is a versatile, fun toy that can be used on both of your bodies for pleasure and even a deep massage. Using something like this can help create a deeper understanding of both of bodies and make each session an act of exploration together.
The Impact on My Libido
It’s no secret that, now, I am more than grateful for sex toys. Not only did incorporating sex toys into my life back then help my sexual desire, but gave me a new hobby, and eventually, a career in sexual wellness. The toys have represented so much more for me than potential orgasms — but a willingness to explore, communicate, and prioritize my own pleasure.
Slowly but surely, as time went on, I noticed a change. My libido began to return. The excitement of trying something new made me excited by sex, again. I felt more connected to my body, my desires, and importantly, my partner. What started as a tool for individual exploration transformed into a bridge that strengthened our bond.
If you find yourself grappling with low libido, I’d highly recommend consider exploring sex toys as a means of reconnecting with your desires. Whether you choose to use them alone or with a partner, these tools can help foster communication, exploration, and intimacy.
