What is anal surfacing? Let’s get to 'the bottom' of this sex trend

Listen: long gone are the days of thinking that anal play is taboo. Now, more than ever, folks across the U.S. are beginning to explore their sexual pleasure and desires in new-for-them ways. And when it comes to anal play, there is one not-so-new term that’s taking flight — and that’s anal surfacing. 

According to a recent study from Future Method, the average American engages in a little backdoor play about twice per month— that’s way more than one might think, right? It’s true, though. Overall, 72% have tried at least one form of butt play in their lives, including this seemingly trendy new way of exploring.

“Anal surfacing is when stimulating the anus sexually by touching the sphincter and the area around in any way that feels great,” sexologist and relationship therapist Sofie Roos tells Bloomi, “Such as with your fingers or the tip of a vibrator, dildo or a penis.”

Lucky for you, if you’re interested in trying out anal surfacing for yourself, experience deeper orgams and want to go beyond vanilla sex, we’ve recruited the expertise of Roos to give you the top-notch knowledge on this bottoms-up trend, below.

What is anal surfacing, really?

Unlike other forms of anal play, anal surfacing is just like it sounds. It explores the surface of the anus without feeling the need to go inside.

“Anal surfacing is always about stimulating outside, not inside, and this can be done as foreplay before anal sex or vaginal sex, as the main play or as a complement to vaginal sex or masturbation,” Roos says, “Since there’s plenty of nerves around the sphincter that when being stimulated feels extremely good and make you turned on if done right.”

How common is anal play among all genders?

Anal play is actually very common among all genders and sexualities — even though it’s a common misconception that it’s primarily among gay men and women.

Folks across the spectrum can enjoy anal play since the anus is an erogenous zone, and it’s one body part we all have. Anal surfacing can be a way to receive a lot of pleasure during sex or even solo sessions. Plus, it can be viewed as “main act” or as supporting pleasure making the other stimulation more enjoyable.

What are some important tips to know before trying anal surfacing?

According to Roos, Sisce anal surfacing isn’t about entering the anus, you don’t need to prepare in any one way, but she did recommend these three tips before trying it out, below.

1. Make sure to be clean

The most important tip, Roos says, is none other than making sure you (or your partner) are clean around the sphincter. All this requires is no more than a regular shower. 

This is to prevent any bacteria from being spread around and make it an enjoyable, safe experience for everyone. Plus, consider trimming your nails to not irritate the sensitive area.

2. Take things slow

Another tip, though, is to remember to take things slowly. Generally, go softer and slower than you think is necessary, and then you can build it up from there!

3. Use lube

Even though anal surfacing doesn’t involve penetration, it’s still a great idea to use lube whenever you’re doing anal play. We recommend our Smooth Water-Based Lube ($15) for the best slip-and-slide.

How can you tell your partner you’re curious about it?

Lastly, how can you tell your partner you’re into trying anal surfacing together? 

“You should ask your partner if they’d like to try something new that includes the anus during sex, and if they say yes, tell them that you’d like to try anal surfacing and explain what it is,” Roos suggests.

If you’re in the heat of the moment, you can also ask if they’d be OK with you touching them there, and if they say yes, you can explore it together. 

What are some fun, exploratory ways to try it out?

Now, you’re ready to try anal surfacing out for yourself. But what ways are best when you first do it? Here are some recommendations for the first time:

• Add some lube on your finger and play around your sphincter in the way that feels best, preferably by using your index finger when lying in the missionary, on your stomach with a pillow under your hips or while standing in doggystyle at the same time as you're stimulating another erogenous zone such as the nipples.

• If you’re about to stimulate a partner, then you can do it both during the foreplay as a complement to whatever you’re doing. For example, if you’re giving them a blow job or licking their pussy, you can stimulate their sphincter at the same time.

• Anal surfacing can also feel amazing during penetrative sex — even in missionary or doggy.